I can feel them pointing at me,
whispering.
They think they know me.
There are too many secrets
to know where to begin.

Sometimes,
I can see it in your eyes;
That you love me
That you're sorry
That you hate what we've become.
Sometimes,
All I see is disgust
Fulfilled by something I haven't done
--Yet.

I'm tired of people telling me I'm stupid
And I'll be sorry
I know exactly what I'm doing.
I'm not always happy;
But this is where I want to be.
Right here.
With you.
Even when you hate me
Sometimes..

It feels like home.

Tonight I wanted to feel something for him again,
not specifically love or nostalgia; just any feeling
connected w/ him. The thought that I seek for sadness as
long as it is because of him, that I accept the agony so easily
makes me miss that cheerful little girl even more.
Where did I lose her? Perhaps she found her way and I am here.
standing lost, stuck w/ old habits and pitiful words.

You're always going.
Away.
places, leaving me to brood over what's been said
the brevity of which
i can not stand.

Still.
it steeps and i crawl back to the page
with more vocabulary than i ever intended to let erupt.
Volcanically spectacular, the vernacular liquored, too.


do you know all of your casualties, boy?
Single file
lined up against the wall
notch after notch the numbers are
simply staggering
and i am falling all over myself
drinking up
everything you meant to let me hear.
which is the truth, wholly, now.
mine, too out on the table like this.

No more EK for me tomorrow. :(

I've got work tomorrow. Super bad timing!

So, I shall just go to work tomorrow w/ the radio beside me.

Tomorrow is going to suck.

I'm sure Friday will turn out better.

Right? :)


I'm watching American Idol right now.
I really think Federov is hot.

My brother is playing the drums.
I think my ear drums are going to explode.

I'm going to atc today. yay.


Saturday's Happenings

Watched Million Dollar Baby which was such a tragic movie. But it was worht watching. :) I kept crying the whole movie through. HAHA

Went to the Hard Rock gig which Jed and I decided to go to at the last minute. It wasn't part of our plans at all.

Neil, Cori, Joyce, Jm were there. Aww. I somehow miss seing them at gigs na :)

Sugarfree rocked :) They played PROM. YAY and also There she goessss
Sponge Cola played. Duh. They played a Rock Version of Crazy for You